It will be quite different here, there will be people for me to help and people who will help me; there will be interesting people, dull people, crazy people – all individuals, all real and worthwhile. In town you spend your leisure rushing around doing things; in the country you stay put and live.
Kate Hardy, D.E. Stevenson
Hello friends,
How are you? I wonder how you have all fared this month. Here in the UK the skies have been almost permanently grey, and this seems to have been reflected in the mood of many. I heard a farmer say that if he didn’t see some blue sky soon, he was going to climb a high mountain to get above the low grey smudge and bask in the blue skies and sunshine above!
We have, however, had some intermittent and most welcome days of clear skies and the snow drops, along with crocuses and primroses are cheering lanes and gardens with their gentle pallets of mauve, white and yellow.
We celebrated Candlemas by lighting up our living room with candles, twinkling lights and a warm fire. I’ve appreciated being able to escape the grey days with gently flickering candles at home, warm soup (mainly pumpkin as we’ve still got a few of these), nourishing wholemeal sourdough, local cheese and home made chutney. Home comforts for which I’m very grateful.
The above quote comes from an author I discovered just before Christmas. I’m not sure if the divide between town and country life exists anymore, as I feel I can spend much of my time “rushing around and doing things” but I love the sense of being settled in a place, dwelling in the place in which God places us. So much more than just existing. It brings to mind Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.”
Hoping you too can dwell in your place of domain this month, appreciating the signs of spring, maybe sampling some local food and enjoying over the fence conversations with neighbours as we all begin to slowly stretch and come out of hibernation. May the spring sunshine warm our very souls.
Until next month…
Molly xx
Nature notes and homestead jottings
For the last few years I’ve had a small polytunnel in the garden. HWH and the boys cleared the ground and built it for me during the first spring lockdown; I remember it as being a fun family project in the sunshine, but I’m sure they remember the strenuous work it involved! I’m very grateful for it, and it allows me to start some plants early, setting tiny seeds in pots or trays, away from any frosts or mice until they are strong enough to be settled in the cold earth. So, this February I’ve ensconced myself in my polytunnel with a mug of tea, a podcast and packets of seeds. Some are just now starting to peek thier tiny green shoots above the compost, and the tomatoes which are on a windowsill inside have produced their first leaves 🌱.
I’ve also increased my fermenting repertoire, making kombucha with a scobi given to me by a friend. I’ll post a picture next month. It tastes delicious!
Homeschool journal
February has been a fairly turbulent month on the home ed front. At a national level the Children’s well-being and schools Bill has hurtled through the committee stage, with only one hour spent to review the huge implications proposed to home education; basically it would usurp the role of parents and place the state in the position to ultimately determine what is best for each child. If you think of a communist country and its role in educating children, then you’ve about got what this is all about as it follows it’s natural trajectory. We continue to pray and to campaign.
The turbulence has been reflected in our home, too. I honestly don’t know why both girls are struggling so much right now, but I suspect a part of it is my own weariness and temporary inability to cope with the constant demands, raw anger directed at me, fluctuating anxiety levels and dis-regulation despite my best attempts. In my experience, parenting and home educating birth children is tough, exhausting but hugely rewarding and joy filled, but doing the same for adopted children who have trauma in their background is on a whole different level.
We’ve also been forced to take a look at where one of our daughter’s multiple additional needs stem from and face the reality that if in mainstream schooling she would be eligible for special educational provision. As I cried out to God in heartbreak and confusion, asking for clarity and the best way forward, we have come to the conclusion, at least for now, that much of it may be trauma related and so if she can gradually heal over time, her brain would then be free enough to grasp new concepts.
I don’t like to write too much about our children’s challenges to protect their privacy, but a small word to all the adoptive mums who read this; if you feel lonely, if you feel disloyal to discuss the depths of your child’s trauma related behaviour and if you sometimes wonder if anything will ever change, please know you’re not alone. There are others who are walking a similar path who also feel despair, who constantly feel out of their depth and who know the ache of never being able to properly reach the heart of a child with attachment disorder. Most importantly, Jesus knows and sees. Your child may throw it all back in your face, but you are doing this for Jesus, for the “least of these.” You may wonder if all the time you pour in is worth it; but it’s not our time, it’s His time and we simply have to answer to Him as to how we use this resource He’s given us. So take heart, dear friend. Try to put some time in your day when you can have an uninterrupted cup of tea and breathe and pray. (If screens are the only way you can achieve this, it’s probably worth it). And try not to compare. We each have challenges known only to ourselves and God, and He sees the backpack of hurt your child carries and hears your pleas on thier behalf.
Musings for our time
My musings this month have been mainly along the lines of trying to untangle some of the complexities the girls face and endeavouring to find the way forward. However, in the midst of the turmoil, I’ve been very grateful for our local friends, neighbours and church family. God has a different pathway for each of us, and for some this may mean moving between different towns or cities, or even abroad. I’m very thankful however, that, having moved quite frequently during my young adult years, we’ve been dwelling in this small town for nearly twenty five years. We’ve thus journeyed with friends we made over tea and biscuits at toddler group, sharing the anguish of teen and adult children struggling, the pain of marriage break ups and the very many joys and celebrations throughout the years. We’ve yet to have a wedding of one of our adult children!
A few of us met up during half term and over a delicious home cooked meal caught up on each others’ lives; mainly the happenings of our children. We commiserated over difficulties, cheered over challenges overcome and laughed often.
We’ve also had a gift of food brought round by a kind neighbour, enjoyed the company of the cute toddler next door and had lots of everyday chats with all. I wonder if good relationships and networks within local communities may become more important in the following few years. We can’t necessarily change the trajectory of our nation…though we must never underestimate the power of prayer…but we can influence our communities with the good news of Jesus and work together to create neighbourhoods where we can all flourish.
Mothering through the seasons 